Clara and Arnold

No one is really sure if Clara and Arnold are lovers or just brother and sister, which kinda creeps some people out. They are both heavy into the emo scene, although Arnold won't admit it, because, you know, he's a guy and guys never admit to being emo. Whenever he protests too strongly about it though Clara pulls out Arnold's Get Up Kids cds because she hates it when he pretends to hide his sensitive side.
The Tiny out-of-focus Ballerina

The ballerina lives underneath a bush, which sounds uncomfortable, but she's fixed it up nice with some of that cheap furniture from Ikea. Her name is really Hilda, but she'd die of embarrassment if anyone she knew actually found out. She still tells people she's a student, and part of her really wants to go back and finish her degree, but deep down inside she knows it probably won't ever happen. She loves The Daily Show, but doesn't get to watch it that much because she doesn't own a tv.
Ted the Robot

Ted is pretty small now, but he's really hoping that his growth spurt will start soon. His hero is Voltron, but only the one made of lions, not the one made of cars. He's worried that one day after he's full-size he'll go insane and end up ravishing a whole city with nuclear-tipped death missiles. He's never told anyone about his fear though because, we'll basically, it would sound pretty silly coming from a guy only three inches tall. His favorite band right now is The Decemberists, but he's pretty fickle about stuff like that.
Borf

Borf hasn't lived here in a while, and most people think that's a good thing because pretty much everyone thinks he's a jerk. He complains that people just don't understand him, but they do. Borf is the kind of guy who'll order a steak at a restaurant just to annoy the vegetarians at the table. He also rocks out to Scandinavian Death Metal, which, if you've ever seen it, is really pretty cheesy.
Larry the Dead Guy

Larry originally wanted to be a Shakespearean actor, but was tired of getting typecast as Yorick so he moved into comic strip modeling and hasn't looked back. His dream is to star in updated versions of all those '80s John Cusack movies, but he fears he's getting a little too old to be believable as a teenager. He'd like his fans to know that he's not wearing a dress, regardless of what Hilda keeps telling people.
The pigs

The pigs are part of a pretty strong union and if you want to use any of them you have to pay all of them, even if most of them just end up sitting around on set smoking cigarettes and pilfering food out of the catering van. No one around here has bothered to learn their names, figuring its ok to just call them by their colors. That annoys the pigs to no end, but not because of any racial overtones, just because they are colorblind and aren't really sure who is being referred to. They all listen to jazz, but often get into fights over whether they should spend the evening with the radio tuned to the bee-bop station or the modern jazz station. The blue pig actually prefers fusion jazz, but never speaks up because he's afraid of sounding foolish.
The Author

This is the only known photograph of the author. His work is sent to the site via a complex system of middle-men, cutouts, false-flags, and dead-drops. It's rumored that he was once employed by the military-industrial complex and currently lives down the street from the largest cemetery in the country, which could partially explain his predilictions toward gallows humor. He loves post-rock and was once overheard to say that his ideal job would be to play bass for Godspeed You Black Emperor.