tiny ghosts, greeting cards

Due to popular demand, we are pleased to present greeting cards based on the tiny ghosts comic thingees. Use them to insult your friends or send letter bombs to your enemies. Each card is 5"x7" and comes with a free envelope. They only cost $2.95 each! That's less than the cost of a fake mustache or a box of rat poison!
There are four sets of cards to choose from:
The first set is filled with mean cards to send to people you do not like.
The second set is filled with nice cards to send to people you want to make like you.
The third set is filled with card for people who aren't here anymore.
The last set is the most interesting, they are reverse condolence cards. Use them to write letters to your friends and loved ones that will be sealed and placed with your will, to be delivered upon your death. Your heirs and mourners will appreciate the personal touch of your final words to them.

Card Number Looks Like Front Says Inside Says Buy
M1: When you told me that you thought I was extraordinary, my heart skipped a beat. But the more I think about it, the more I realize you meant that I was just extra-ordinary.
M2: After all these years I still get goosebumps when I touch you. But now it's just because you've grown so cold to me.
M3: I'm sure that if I know what love is, it's only because you taught me. Just like I'm sure that if you know what regret is, it's only because I taught you.
M4: I fear falling in love with you, because to be in love with you makes me human. ...and to be human is to be mortal.
M5: It really freaked me out when you told me that your biggest fear was that we wouldn't be together forever... Because my biggest fear is that we will be.
M6: I wish I could put our relationship back together with some scotch tape and rubber bands. Like I did with your body.
M7: You're exactly what I've been looking for all the time. A reason to leave.
M8: I don't like seeing you in pain. I really don't. But hurting you is the only way I can get you to scream my name anymore.
M9: Don't you go thinking I never loved you. It's just that I don't love you now.
M10: I wish I had the guts to tell you I don't feel anything when we kiss anymore. The only thing that keeps me here is knowing that I'm not strong enough to bear the tears in your eyes as you watch me go.
M11: I just don't think we should be enemies anymore. I mean, I'll always hate you. It's just that I'm not in hate with you.
M12: It'll never work out between us because you need someone who needs you to save them. I just need someone to stand by my side as I save myself.
M13: As we waited for them to call my row, you held me tight and cried because you thought it was goodbye for a while. I held you tight and cried because I knew it was goodbye forever. I'm sorry but I'm not coming back.
M14: I don't hate you, I never hated you. I just hate my life. And for a long time now, my life has been you.

Card Number	Front Says	Inside Says
M1:	When you told me that you thought I was extraordinary, my heart skipped a beat.	But the more I think about it, the more I realize you meant that I was just extra-ordinary.
M2:	After all these years I still get goosebumps when I touch you.	But now it's just because you've grown so cold to me.
M3:	I'm sure that if I know what love is, it's only because you taught me.	Just like I'm sure that if you know what regret is, it's only because I taught you.
M4:	I fear falling in love with you, because to be in love with you makes me human.	...and to be human is to be mortal.
M5:	It really freaked me out when you told me that your biggest fear was that we wouldn't be together forever...	Because my biggest fear is that we will be.
M6:	I wish I could put our relationship back together with some scotch tape and rubber bands.	Like I did with your body.
M7:	You're exactly what I've been looking for all the time.	A reason to leave.
M8:	I don't like seeing you in pain. I really don't.	But hurting you is the only way I can get you to scream my name anymore.
M9:	Don't you go thinking I never loved you.	It's just that I don't love you now.
M10:	I wish I had the guts to tell you I don't feel anything when we kiss anymore.	The only thing that keeps me here is knowing that I'm not strong enough to bear the tears in your eyes as you watch me go.
M11:	I just don't think we should be enemies anymore.	I mean, I'll always hate you. It's just that I'm not in hate with you.
M12:	It'll never work out between us because you need someone who needs you to save them.	I just need someone to stand by my side as I save myself.
M13:	As we waited for them to call my row, you held me tight and cried because you thought it was goodbye for a while.	I held you tight and cried because I knew it was goodbye forever. I'm sorry but I'm not coming back.
M14:	I don't hate you, I never hated you. I just hate my life.	And for a long time now, my life has been you.

Card Number Looks Like Front Says Inside Says Buy
N1: Darling, my love is so strong that no force in heaven or hell could ever tear me away from your side... ...no matter how many exorcists you hire.
N2: Don't feel alone. You're not the only one who's dying inside.
N3: I don't know anything about you. Except where you're ticklish.
N4: After a thousand churches, a million empty bottles, two wars of conquest and a dozen highest mountains, I've finally found what I've always been looking for. ...in your eyes
N5: It's natural to be afraid of the dark. But don't worry, I'll light a candle and hold you safe in my arms until morning.
N6: I want to be the man you see when you look at me. Because I'm not that man. I'm not even close.
N7: If you were waiting for a sign, this is it. Do it now and you won't regret a thing.
N8: When things get tough, you like to say how much easier it would be to just throw yourself off a cliff and end it all. But it wouldn't be easy. I would catch you.
N9: I promise you that we'll be together until the end of time. And at that final sunset, we'll say our last goodbyes in and wait patiently in the dark, holding hands.
N10: To say I love you more than life is misleading. I love you in a way that makes life more.
N11: I know I'll never be able to formulate the right words to explain just how much I love you and need you. But I also know you somehow already understand.
N12: You turned me into somebody who could be loved. I'm not scared anymore. I'm ready.
N13: In the years since you said yes, I've completely forgotten what it's like to feel unloved. The best thing that ever happened to me, was being the best thing that ever happened to you.
N14: Someday I will have a life that's fulfilling and complicated and exciting, and filled with whirlwind trips around the world and passionate romances and amazing beauty. And a crush like the one I have on you won't matter at all. But today I am young and still unsure of myself and you matter to me much more than you should.
N15: We sat on the rocks waiting for the sun to set on a warm summer evening. Our fingers touched. You kissed me and I couldn't stop smiling.
N16: I know in my heart that stories always work out in the end. So when you say you're not allright, I guess that just means this can't be the end of your story yet.
N17: Eskimos have 100 words for snow. I wish I hate a thousand words for love to describe how I feel when you look into my eyes. But there are no words for something that intense.

Card Number	Front Says	Inside Says
N1:	Darling, my love is so strong that no force in heaven or hell could ever tear me away from your side...	...no matter how many exorcists you hire.
N2:	Don't feel alone.	You're not the only one who's dying inside.
N3:	I don't know anything about you.	Except where you're ticklish.
N4:	After a thousand churches, a million empty bottles, two wars of conquest and a dozen highest mountains, I've finally found what I've always been looking for.	...in your eyes
N5:	It's natural to be afraid of the dark.	But don't worry, I'll light a candle and hold you safe in my arms until morning.
N6:	I want to be the man you see when you look at me.	Because I'm not that man. I'm not even close.
N7:	If you were waiting for a sign, this is it.	Do it now and you won't regret a thing.
N8:	When things get tough, you like to say how much easier it would be to just throw yourself off a cliff and end it all.	But it wouldn't be easy. I would catch you.
N9:	I promise you that we'll be together until the end of time.	And at that final sunset, we'll say our last goodbyes in and wait patiently in the dark, holding hands.
N10:	To say I love you more than life is misleading.	I love you in a way that makes life more.
N11:	I know I'll never be able to formulate the right words to explain just how much I love you and need you.	But I also know you somehow already understand.
N12:	You turned me into somebody who could be loved.	I'm not scared anymore. I'm ready.
N13:	In the years since you said yes, I've completely forgotten what it's like to feel unloved.	The best thing that ever happened to me, was being the best thing that ever happened to you.
N14:	Someday I will have a life that's fulfilling and complicated and exciting, and filled with whirlwind trips around the world and passionate romances and amazing beauty. And a crush like the one I have on you won't matter at all.	But today I am young and still unsure of myself and you matter to me much more than you should.
N15:	We sat on the rocks waiting for the sun to set on a warm summer evening.	Our fingers touched. You kissed me and I couldn't stop smiling.
N16:	I know in my heart that stories always work out in the end.	So when you say you're not allright, I guess that just means this can't be the end of your story yet.
N17:	Eskimos have 100 words for snow.	I wish I hate a thousand words for love to describe how I feel when you look into my eyes. But there are no words for something that intense.

Card Number Looks Like Front Says Inside Says Buy
C1: I'm sorry that my death made you feel sad. I didn't mean to leave you here alone, but I didn't really have a choice. Please forgive me. I'll always love you.
C2: I'm really hoping you get sick and die soon. It's so lonely up here in heaven without you by my side.
C3: I'm sure you are feeling pretty sad about my death. But think how much sadder you are going to feel when you learn that you aren't getting anything in the will. I always secretly hated you.
C4: You probably think it's creepy getting a letter from someone who is dead and gone. But I just felt I should remind you about the terms of our suicide pact.
C5: Even though I've passed away, I wanted to send you this last letter to tell you I'll be in heaven, looking down on you. ...especially when you are in the shower.
C6: I just wanted you to know that I don't blame you for the accident. I have to warn you though, the jury will probably find otherwise.
C7: I had a feeling that the first thing you'd do when I agreed to see you one last time was to squeeze me so tight I couldn't breathe... ...so tight I couldn't scream. I told the police where I was going you know. They're probably coming for you right now.
C8: It's not a problem really, I mean, people have often joked that we know each other so well we can finish each other's sentences. I guess you'll just have to learn to start them for me as well.
C9: The worst part of being dead is knowing that I'll never get to finish all those things I left undone. I can't believe I left so many jerks like you alive up there.
C10: Remember me when you see this... Let these words I wrote to you by hand stand long after I'm dead and gone.
C11: The only way to get into heaven is for something horrible to happen. Good luck, stay strong. I'll see you on the other side.

Card Number	Front Says	Inside Says
C1:	I'm sorry that my death made you feel sad.	I didn't mean to leave you here alone, but I didn't really have a choice. Please forgive me. I'll always love you.
C2:	I'm really hoping you get sick and die soon.	It's so lonely up here in heaven without you by my side.
C3:	I'm sure you are feeling pretty sad about my death.	But think how much sadder you are going to feel when you learn that you aren't getting anything in the will. I always secretly hated you.
C4:	You probably think it's creepy getting a letter from someone who is dead and gone.	But I just felt I should remind you about the terms of our suicide pact.
C5:	Even though I've passed away, I wanted to send you this last letter to tell you I'll be in heaven, looking down on you.	...especially when you are in the shower.
C6:	I just wanted you to know that I don't blame you for the accident.	I have to warn you though, the jury will probably find otherwise.
C7:	I had a feeling that the first thing you'd do when I agreed to see you one last time was to squeeze me so tight I couldn't breathe...	...so tight I couldn't scream. I told the police where I was going you know. They're probably coming for you right now.
C8:	It's not a problem really, I mean, people have often joked that we know each other so well we can finish each other's sentences.	I guess you'll just have to learn to start them for me as well.
C9:	The worst part of being dead is knowing that I'll never get to finish all those things I left undone.	I can't believe I left so many jerks like you alive up there.
C10:	Remember me when you see this...	Let these words I wrote to you by hand stand long after I'm dead and gone.
C11:	The only way to get into heaven is for something horrible to happen.	Good luck, stay strong. I'll see you on the other side.

Card Number Looks Like Front Says Inside Says Buy
S1: Without you as my anchor, I feel my connection to this world slipping away. My steps don't even leave footprints on the beach anymore.
S2: There's nothing I want more in this world than to go home. It's just that I haven't decided exactly where that's gonna be just yet.
S3: I've seen two shooting stars which I have not claimed the wishes on yet. If you come back to me, I'll let you have the other one.
S4: I guess enough time has passed, and I'm finally at the point where I can forgive my best friend and the love of my life for running off together. The only thing that still burns is the fact that you never required my forgiveness to be happy together.
S5: I know, I know, everyone says the first thing you are supposed to do when you invent a time machine is go back and kill an evil dictator. But I just can't help going back over and over again to re-live that last perfect day I had with you.
S6: It's not that I want you to want me back. I just want you to feel a little sad that you let me go.
S7: I should have given you more of a reason to stay. Because now all I'm left with are so many reasons to follow you.
S8: I'm struggling to give you a reason to stay, but I don't have one. Please don't leave, not over this.
S9: If only I could get this stupid time machine working. I would kiss you and love you and ask you not to go.
S10: Winter seems so much colder without you by my side. I lie awake at night and wonder... do you still think of me as much as I still think of you?
S11: You say that you're doing fine, and I'm glad to hear that, really. But I know, I just know, he can't make you smile the way I used to make you smile.
S12: Every night before bed, I write a letter to you telling you all about my day, put it in a bottle, and throw it in the ocean. I know you have a new life without me, but I'm still here.
S13: I think the thing I loved most about you was how your face would light up when I'd say, 'It might be dangerous! I still hold out hope that you'll return someday.
S14: When you left, I shed a single tear into the ocean. When I find it again, I'll finally stop loving you ...only then.
S15: You are worth waiting a lifetime for. When you come home, I'll be here. Just like I promised.

Card Number	Front Says	Inside Says
S1:	Without you as my anchor, I feel my connection to this world slipping away.	My steps don't even leave footprints on the beach anymore.
S2:	There's nothing I want more in this world than to go home.	It's just that I haven't decided exactly where that's gonna be just yet.
S3:	I've seen two shooting stars which I have not claimed the wishes on yet.	If you come back to me, I'll let you have the other one.
S4:	I guess enough time has passed, and I'm finally at the point where I can forgive my best friend and the love of my life for running off together.	The only thing that still burns is the fact that you never required my forgiveness to be happy together.
S5:	I know, I know, everyone says the first thing you are supposed to do when you invent a time machine is go back and kill an evil dictator.	But I just can't help going back over and over again to re-live that last perfect day I had with you.
S6:	It's not that I want you to want me back.	I just want you to feel a little sad that you let me go.
S7:	I should have given you more of a reason to stay.	Because now all I'm left with are so many reasons to follow you.
S8:	I'm struggling to give you a reason to stay, but I don't have one.	Please don't leave, not over this.
S9:	If only I could get this stupid time machine working.	I would kiss you and love you and ask you not to go.
S10:	Winter seems so much colder without you by my side.	I lie awake at night and wonder... do you still think of me as much as I still think of you?
S11:	You say that you're doing fine, and I'm glad to hear that, really.	But I know, I just know, he can't make you smile the way I used to make you smile.
S12:	Every night before bed, I write a letter to you telling you all about my day, put it in a bottle, and throw it in the ocean.	I know you have a new life without me, but I'm still here.
S13:	I think the thing I loved most about you was how your face would light up when I'd say, 'It might be dangerous!	I still hold out hope that you'll return someday.
S14:	When you left, I shed a single tear into the ocean.	When I find it again, I'll finally stop loving you ...only then.
S15:	You are worth waiting a lifetime for.	When you come home, I'll be here. Just like I promised.